"nevertheless, i finished the book."

deepawali.

my dearest deepawali is of the year 2018. the year i pretended to be afraid of firecrackers just to sit home and read.

read. 

read a book I don't endorse anymore.

my father asked me if the reason i did not join everyone was because i was terrified. and i said "yes". my history with deepawali backed my response. he left. and i kept reading.

that night, my feet stayed inside our house's perimeter.everyone was bonding over the noise of celebration

and i chose to be absent from yet another memory they shared together. 

nevertheless, i finished the book.